French political life, this farce bordering on the grotesque, never ceases to offer us actors worthy of the greatest classical dramas. Take Andy Kerbrat, this dashing rebellious deputy, hero of social causes, who seems to have found, in 3-MMC, a drug popular in Parisian nights, a sort of fuel for his… civic engagement? Here he is in a hallucinatory vaudeville, arrested for buying drugs from a minor in the seedy alleys of the 18th arrondissement. Balzac would have applauded such a scene: a parliamentarian, defender of the people, stumbling over his own contradictions in a France in crisis.
Metro, narcotics, and in flagrante delicto: welcome to the new human comedy
The image is almost poetic. A cold October night, the pale neon lights of the Paris metro, fleeting shadows, and Andy Kerbrat, 34, elected from Loire-Atlantique, hidden under a hood, not to foment a social revolution, but to exchange 1.35 grams of 3-MMC. It’s almost too symbolic to be true: a rebel caught red-handed in the plastic bag of modern decadence. It almost feels like a bad farce, so improbable is the scenario.
The police, sensing a coup de théâtre worthy of a B-movie noir, arrest him. Surprise? Not so much the dose of powder he was carrying, but rather the surreal scene of a Republic’s elected official negotiating with a minor, the latter surely a promising start-upper from the Parisian underworld. No matter, he already has the entrepreneurial spirit, right?
Express mea culpa and redemption protocol: the routine of the fallen politician
Naturally, in this theater where masks fall, the act of contrition is mandatory. A few hours after his arrest, our dear Andy hastens to publish a poignant message on X (yes, that’s what we call Twitter these days, for those who have tuned out). “I am getting treatment,” he writes with the solemnity of a Shakespearean actor in full confession. Treatment protocol, apologies to his voters… Everything is there, except the sincere glimmer in the eye. Yet, one almost believes he believes in his own role. But let’s be serious: between two detox cures and a new parliamentary session, do the cracks of an elected official really carry the same weight as those of ordinary mortals?
Drugs, sex, and politics: the eternal tragic triangle
Kerbrat, in another life, could have been a leader on ecological and social issues, a defender of the oppressed, perhaps even a sincere voice for LGBT rights. He had already shared his childhood traumas, exposing abuses suffered, eliciting empathy from activists. But alas, politics is a bit like drugs: you start by trying to change the world, and you end up getting lost in your own excesses.
What to say about the choice of 3-MMC, nicknamed the “new cocaine”? Cheaper, more accessible, just like some political ideas. Perhaps it is simply the chemical embodiment of this society eager for easy solutions and immediate stimulations. A metaphor, in short, for our elected officials who, in their pursuit of escape, end up stumbling into reality.
The rebel in search of redemption: a descent promising sparks
What will become of our rebel in full political detox? The future of Andy Kerbrat seems as uncertain as the price per gram of the drug he bought.
He says he wants to fight his demons, but in the grand circus of politics, every misstep is like a descending step.
Perhaps he will know how to reconcile addiction and convictions. After all, politics is a great game of deception, between vices and virtues, where everyone wears their mask hoping no one looks too closely. But let’s not be naive: in this kingdom where appearance is queen, a deputy caught with his hand in the powder will have a hard time finding his way back to the chamber without some well-visible media scars.
To end in style, Kerbrat plays the ultimate card of the trapped politician: accusing an ultra-conservative newspaper of collusion with the police. The best way to divert attention, while reminding that in this grand theater that is French political life, the victim is never where you expect. One thing is certain: with Andy, the show is guaranteed, and the play promises many more twists.
